Feeling strange and angry...

This week has been a washout in some respects. The upside is that I spent some time with my sister and BiL. The downside is that because of all of the changes in schedules for lunch, dinner, etc,...I have not been able to get any work done for school. So the pile that I started with on Monday has not shrunk and looms even more menacingly on my desk. I have no choice but to dive in. I get done what I can and live with it, I guess.

I hate being behind like this. I do not like to scramble, worry, or fret over what needs to be accomplished by such-and-such a date. I fear I am falling into a trap of procrastination and avoidance.

I also had some disturbing dreams last night, so that's two nights in a row. I dreamed that I had no choice but to go back to the food business. The reason was never explained, but along with this situation came a host of bad habits, namely cocaine and alcohol. I was buying drugs from the same connections and hiding in my apartment with little bindles of powders and bottles of vodka. This was all very screwed up and I think I'm still freaked out about it. I guess I'll go back to Step 1.

So I am angry as a result of all of this stuff going on/not happening.


Johnnyboy