Feeling adrift...

I have called my sponsor several times in the past 3 weeks since my return from Ireland and so far have only been able to reach him once. We had a good chat then, but that was 2 1/2 weeks ago. My calls so far have gone unreturned, even when I asked him to call me back. I called him again this afternoon, but no response. I fear that something has happened in his life and he does not have the time or energy to call me back. Perhaps he is on vacation...I don't know. Maybe he'll call tomorrow? I would like to clear the air in my head about my over-zealous admiration for him and the integral nature of his recovery. He really does work a very complete and integrated program. His work outside AA and his devotion to his spiritual path are something to be emulated and I would like my own to be a copy of this, but I can only work this program to the best of my ability, as I have already stated. For now I have been fortunate to be able to speak to others about my sobriety and take their advice, but I am still feeling somewhat adrift. I certainly still consider him my sponsor. I wonder if he feels differently about our relationship? How would I know if he did?

I hope all is well with him and his family and nothing horrible has happened.

I watched "V For Vendetta" tonight and enjoyed it tremendously. The political parallels are obvious and, frankly, I'm amazed that the film was allowed to play here in the US. I guess it had a hard time at first in the UK due to its nature. I recommend seeing it, though.

That's all. My head is somewhat spinning with the possibility that I have been fired, but that is really my own self-centeredness thinking that he is avoiding speaking to me. Something must be up at his end of the line.

Oh well...


Johnnyboy