New things a-foot...

The concept of applying for an MFA is still not out the window, but more importantly I am hoping to have a much better web presence within a couple of months. The blog will come with me, dear readers, so not to worry. With it comes the angst, recovery, and laughter that only the pains of growing up can bring.

Mom is doing well. The weather has turned suddenly cold so getting her out of the house is more difficult. This is understandable. I'm glad the house is snug and warm and she is loved, cared for, and safe. This much I can guarantee.

The holidays will be the holidays. I have begun praying for those in my life who cause my stomach to grind its insides apart and because of that I can sleep better, although I had a fucked up "dream" the other night...More a nightmare...

I dreamed that the only reason I continue to make excellent grades in college and doing well in other venues is because I have Down Syndrome and those around me are going easy on me. What a relief to wake up and know that this is not true!

Johnnyboy

Such news and holiday angst...

The photo show has been up for a few weeks and, I hope, showing well. I have distanced myself somewhat from the experience, feeling grateful to have just been chosen to participate. If I sell anything, it will be a wonderful bonus. The exposure and acknowledgment is the real high point for me.

School is moving along. I am still having fun with my US/Caribbean Foreign Policy course but the Digital Art and Design class is wearing thin. PhotoShop is all wonderful, but I have become bogged down in the sanitary nothingness of the truth behind web design and logos: it's about advertising and self-branding, as a famous librarian friend has mentioned. I really feel kind of slimy trying to promote myself like a piece of meat. A few of us have stated this in the class, but I don't know if the instructor has read the comments yet. The class is almost over, however, so I'll push through and take the grade given.

I have begun looking at MFA programs in photography. One school, very near to me, offers one of the best. I attended the MFA open-house last week and was a bit apprehensive as I walked in the room. I was immediately put at ease by a friendly face that I had not seen for a while. That allowed me to relax, participate and enjoy the day. I will be applying there next January, 2010.

I am a sort of a purist when it comes to photography and computers. I really have no use for PhotoShop except to re-size, canvas, and crop. Beyond that I try my best to make the best image that I can with the camera first. If the picture sucks, it sucks. Screw the philosophy of post-production...It;s a cop-out.

Deer season opened yesterday...We have hunters up in the woods thinning the herds...Guns are booming. That is a pretty unnerving sound.

Mom is doing well, I suppose. She is alert, very capable still, and extremely feisty. My sisters and I will be having a meeting during the Thanksgiving weekend concerning her care and where we go from here. The 24-hour women who are here now are fantastic. My opinion is that nothing is broken so nothing should be fixed. The family has seen fit to live their lives away from here so far, and they should continue to do so.

These kinds of family summits have long since ruined the holidays for me. Thanksgiving should be a time of gratitude and peace-making. Instead, for me at least, it has become a symbol of fear, invasion and sudden change. This is all very sucky, and no amount of post-production will cure it.

Johnnyboy