The End of Summer...

The cicadas are buzzing easily in the green leaves outside my office window. The Little Blue Heron that has decided to call my pond home has been awake for a few hours now, it's breakfast complete with frogs, tadpoles, insects; mine with juice, vitamins, coffee, and toast as I watched her walk slowly on stick legs...It is sunny today, and is supposed to be quite hot, in the 80s, but the nights are deliciously cool, ideal for sleeping. This is a steady weather pattern for the next few days, and summer is turning a corner, bending the morning light as it moves from view. Sunbeams now stream through my eastern windows, waking me unlike my now unused alarm clock.

School officially begins on the 8th. I cannot access my on-line art course until tomorrow, but that's alright. I have begun some reading for my 'Commie' class. but I want to finish two books this week and begin some others. Then it is paper writing time...My first telephone lecture/discussion is on the 18th, but I would like to have one paper all but finished by then.

I have discovered that a good friend of mine used to be the staff photographer for a local weekly and still has all the darkroom equipment. All that is missing is the room itself and the chemicals. Chemicals I can get, it's the space that seems to be a tough nut to crack. So anyone with any ideas, short of setting up in my bathroom, please share...

It's Sunday, the day before Labor Day. I feel distracted and odd. Maybe I should get out of the house and go take pictures...Just drive. I'm allowed to do that.


Johnnyboy

Can't sleep...Blogging will help...

My mind is ticking along tonight so I have been tossing and turning in bed for about an hour. Blogging will help, I hope. At least I will have updated some things. Then I'll try sleep once more.

It has been advised that I receive 16 credits for my past career instead of 12, which is great. I hope they grant my wish. That means after this next semester I will only need 20 credits to graduate!

This is how I plan to spend my final three semesters...

8 credits consist of a capstone Senior Thesis on history, probably Balkan in nature. The other 12 (three classes) will probably be artistic in nature, specifically photographic, and all involving a darkroom. I will have to cross-register at Hudson Valley Community College but it will allow me to take B/W Photography I and II and Color Photography and developing. This goes a long way in giving me enough undergraduate credits to fulfill requirements for an MFA program; where, I do not know, but probably within the SUNY system.

Mom is doing well. The Caregiving Women are saving my life, and my sanity. I was able to go to a wonderful presentation of Dylan Thomas' 'Under Milkwood' last night that blew me a way. I didn't worry once about how she was or what was going on at home.

I went back to a meeting tonight that I had not attended for about 4 months. It is a Big Book study in nearby Cataractburg, one that I have always enjoyed and benefited from. Unfortunately, aside from one or two old faces, the attendees were all new and somewhat dim in thought. It is a good lesson for me in remembering what I can bring to the meeting instead of what I take. I hope I helped others. Anyway, someone asked me to be his temporary sponsor. He's a nice guy who has had trouble staying away from the substances that baffle and bedevil him. So guess it was a good idea to go.

Tomorrow I am driving another fellow to his out-patient alcohol program twenty minutes away, waiting for him for two hours, and then driving back. I'll bring my camera and a book and get some work done. I'm shooting on 35mm film these days, so it will be a nice change.

I'll try to update more often.

Johnnyboy

Oy! Long time, no bloggink...

Sorry about the long absence cats and kittens. Forgive me. So much has been happening, but really nothing different than the last post...The big difference is in me.

In many ways I am freer than I have ever been. The Caregiving Women who are looking after my mom have given some ultimatums. The first is that I "get a life". They are good friends, and I know what they mean.

Until last March I have been looking after my mother, watching her slow decline, and thinking only of her, for the most part. With their arrival last spring came the 'Freeing of Johnnyboy'. The best way to describe it is that when I leave the house for any reason (gym, meetings, The Big City, etc...) I do not have the thought in my head that I must get home to save the day. What a relief!

I have gone to the movies with a very pretty young woman; today I spent the day in The Big City with friends doing photography stuff; and tomorrow night I am going to see "Under Milkwood" at a nearby summer theater with another friend. I even sleep better, not having to be 'on point' like I used to be. Yesterday I went to an acupuncturist (accupuncturer?) for a session of intense body and energy work.

What will tomorrow bring?

For my photographic friends like Fred here is a cool link that may help you with many of your more retro photography needs...The Frugal Photographer


Johnnyboy

Quick update...

Now that I have been hone for about a week I have decided to give a run-down of the past day's events.

My jet-lag lasted about 4 days, but was not a bother, really. I just made sure I drank enough water and had a lie-down when I became worn out in the afternoon. By Sunday night it was all gone.

Mom is doing surprisingly well, considering she has moderate cognitive impairment, is 84, and was diagnosed with erlichthiosis 3 weeks ago....Her weeks of antibiotics are over but she still gets worn out easily. Bed rest with moments of activity and action are the prescribed medicines now. Her caregivers are here, and will be until we no longer need them. In short, my time as caregiver has passed. For three years I did what they are doing and neglected my own life. My activities were kept to meetings, school, and the occasional trip. My mental state was one of constant worry about mom and "what if something happens when I'm out of the house" type of thinking.

I no longer think like that. I can now live a freer life. So the caregivers that are here are really working for me as well. Amazing.

There is a big show at the New York Botanical Garden that I want to see before it closes--The Orchid Show. Then there are some museums to visit...Things to do, people to see...

My Fall semester is shaping up as well. I am taking a Digital Art and Design course and I have designed, with another professor, a course called 'US-Caribbean Foreign Policy During the Cold War'. I have also been evaluated by a professional concerning the 12 credits I am asking for from my Associates Degree in Culinary Arts. She said she is going to recommend these be awarded at the advanced level. That means (I think) that if this all goes well, I will only have another 24 credits left to complete before my BA is finished!

That's on;y three semesters...That would be very cool. It would also put me ahead of schedule for my MFA proposal.

So much going on! Yay!

Johnnyboy

Finally...

Home again.

Johnnyboy

Here in Croatia..the Dalmatian Coast...

''Night and day'' is the way to describe there and here. My bus ride from Bosnia to Split was uneventful and comfortable. The difference when we crossed the frontier was striking. Prosperous and well groomed Croatia is a long way from the rough and tumble Bosnian Wild West.

Tonight I dined well. ''Hobotnice salate'', Octopus salad, with fresh tomatoes, potatoes, garlic, parsley, olive oil and lemon juice. Then ''Škampi sa buzaru''--whole shrimp (head, claws and all) poached in a light and fresh tomato sauce with lots of bread to sop it all up. Amazing. After living on mixed grill, čevapi, and cabbage salad for almost three months, I was in heaven.

I am now in a Cybercafe and the Gypsy Kings are on the stereo; there is a rock band playing Croatian blues on the seaside promenade and people of every culture strolling about in the mid-evening night; the cafes are full, the seaport is hopping and life is better than good.

I was able to get to a meeting tonight around 5:30 which filled my heart as I also saw a couple of old AA friends from here. Great feeling and joy.

I had a bizarre conversation with a priest last night. He claimed that The Pill was responsible for almost all the divorces in the US, the gradual feminizing of men, and the rise in homosexuality. It all has to do with changing body chemistry in women leading to enhanced pheromones and estrogen in the water supply. For some reason I started thinking of Colonel Ripper in ''Dr. Strangelove'' with his obsession about bodily fluids and how fluoride in the water was a communist plot to undermine his natural essences. Crazy is as crazy does, as Gump would say.

On my way home never felt so good.

Johnnyboy

Final Bosnian post...

It is now 10:45AM here in Međugorje. Tomorrow morning at 7:30 I board the bus for the Croatian Coast. By this time tomorrow I will be pulling into the bus station in Split. What a relief to be back on the road!

The next day I fly to Budapest on Malev Airlines. There is an English speaking AA meeting that evening in Budapest that I will be attending, so I am looking forward to that.

My experience here has been amazing. There is so much to admire and be inspired by, but at the same time there is much to avoid and walk away from politely. It will take several weeks at home to process this information and be able to speak about it in an organized and linear fashion.

Last night I had dinner with my co-workers Janet and Joe. As I was raising my water glass for a toast, they bowed their heads in prayer. They blessed the food, and then prayed for me and my safety, and the well-being of my mother. I was so moved I almost cried. That is part of what I admire here--a quiet faith and benevolent devotion to their own Higher Power. All the tourist shops, the egos trying to control the scene, and the throngs of pilgrims all elbowing their way to-and-from church is a mere facade. Janet and Joe's prayer reminded me of my own Higher Power and how it moves me to service and compassion.

I guess the above is part of the processing. More to come. I'll update from Budapest.

Johnnyboy