Friday, September 02, 2005

My resentments and my part in controversy...

I have just sent off an email to several people involved my homegroup issue over drugs and AA.

I realized, through numerous consultations and talks with others, that I needed to examine my true part in this thing and from whence it grows.

Resentment.

I came out of jail and jumped right back into my program full steam ahead. I did everything that came along the pike in terms of service and began to think that I was the only one doing anything. I know I have control issues, but this time they were right out in front. I thought that I could turn the current group of relative newcomers (of which I am one) into the old group of people with a whole lot of longterm sobriety. I would do this by forcing them to refocus on the subject and stick to the matter at hand.

I have discovered, through much pain, that this is similar to herding cats.

I take full responsibility for my vote on the Blue Card issue, and stand by it. I cannot control the reactions of others, nor the direction that the group wishes to go. I must turn this over to HP and The Force do its thing.

AA and this group were there before me, and they'll probably be there when I'm gone. Thankfully I don't have to drink over any of this mess.

Now...

More X-Files! I am almost finished with season 6 and have researched the whole 'changing of the guard' scenario on-line. I think I'll probably watch the whole 9 seasons, just to see how Doggett and the other one work out.


Breathe

Johnnyboy

1 Comments:

Blogger Aravis said...

Turn it over and let go. Best thing to do sometimes. You sound good.

Enjoy the X-Files! :0)

12:22 AM  

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