Feeling crazy and not at all well...

I fooled myself into thinking that I could skip some meetings this week. I went 3 whole days without and was suffering the consequences until a few hours ago. I went to a meeting and really spilled my guts about how crazy I felt and how off-the-beam I was acting. Paranoid, self-pitying, depressed--all that crap.

I be better now, thank you.

I think I fooled myself into thinking that since I was alone, without the influence of active alcoholics in the house for a few days, that I could rest on my laurels. My goofing off almost backfired this time. I started feeling a little too willful and self-sufficient, believing that I was in control of things.

I was really scared.


I feel better. I ran into a friend at the gas station and he told me that Mercury was in retrograde and that it would be a tough time for me this week. He also felt that I should not have backed off on my attendance at meetings. He was right, but the experiment is over.

I have learned:
1. I need a meeting every day
2. I cannot take my sobriety for granted
3. I need a meeting every day.

I think I'm back in the moment, finally.


Johnnyboy