The end of therapy...

There's no way I can say it any better. Today is the last day I will be seeing my therapist on a regular and formal basis. This is not a sudden decision, but rather one that has been going on for about a year now.

I have been seeing him since September, 2001. It has been over 6 1/2 years of weekly (sometimes bi-weekly) sessions and we have covered a lot of ground. We have dealt with PTSD, Jungian archetypes, Inner Family Dynamics, and Neurocybernetics. I feel that the point of therapy is not to cure me (can one ever be psychologically cured?) but rather to show that I have the tools with which to handle any situation. It's time to go.

Plus, it will be nice to have Tuesdays back, uninterrupted. I could use the time in a more studious fashion. The time to get to and from therapy plus the hour or so in between adds up to almost 3 1/2 hours when all is said and done. Granted, a lot of that is travel...Now that's crazy.

I'll be leaving the house at 11AM to pick up the mail first. At 12PM I go to my last wing-ding with him, then scoot off to the gym for an hour or so at 2PM, and then get my hair cut at 3:30PM. I'll be home by 4:30PM. There's a lot of unnecessary miles in between those appointments.

Here's a picture from a series I took with my Agfa Silette. It's called 'Mom at Different Distances'.

This one is "15 Feet".

Johnnyboy

Daily pressures...Not so bad, really....

Today is like any other day. There are pressures and obstacles to surmount, which, thanks to sobriety and the program I am working on (AA), I can. I have luxury problems...Too much reading and writing to do in one day mostly, but there are other things too.

My mother banged her shoulder against something in the night two days ago. We don't know where or when, and of course she doesn't remember, but thankfully there is nothing really wrong with her except for a little bruising and stiffness today. Yesterday there was pain, so we went to the ER for some pictures. Clean. That's a relief. I don't have the focus to be nursemaid this week.

I have a stack of books I need to read before January 29th and then February 7th. On the 29th my Modern Asian History class meets and I have a private tutorial with my Creative Non-Fiction prof just before...Loads of reading--9 books total., plus some writing. My US Civil War Residency begins in February, so I have to read another three books before then and write a short book review. On the upside, I have been granted a 4.0 on my Digital Photography CBE as well as my Historiography class. I have also finalized my Degree Plan and have about 8 classes to take before I graduate. I'm shooting for Christmas 2009...That's about right, since I started school in the fall of 2005...4 years.

I also have a self-evaluation and a short photographer's bio due for my Photo class at the end of the week. I think I'll tackle those first today and get them done. This constitutes the very last smidgen of work leftover from the middle semester. When I have done that I'll go to the gym and burn off 300-400 calories.

It's a busy day, and all I've done so far is to post a new blog entry. I'll add a picture for effect. I didn't take this picture. I lent my camera to a guy who showed up for the first DocPho meeting and never came back. I have looked at his shots, and they are all pretty odd, if not boring, but I liked this one enough to fiddle around with b/w, contrasts, etc...It's called 'Charles'.

Johnnyboy

Another band thingy...

Here's another fake band. The Wiki entry was the whole thing minus 'shoveling smoke. I took the pic from Picasa. I am having too much fun with this.

I am currently watching 'House, M.D.' which is fun...'The Wire-Season One' which is addictive...and I have 'MI-5-Season 5' arriving in the mail today. NetFlix is jerking me around too much for the new releases of these shows, so I am buying them online. When I am finished with them I will donate them to the local library or give them away. It really depends on how married I am to them. I'll probably keep 'The Wire'.

I am slowly but surely finishing up the mid-fall semester. I go back to The Big City tomorrow for my final DocPhoWorkshop. This will be sad--I like the folks I have been learning and hanging with. I will miss them.

This afternoon I get to use a Christmas gift certificate at a local bookstore to gather reading material for my writing class--short fiction mostly.

Johnnyboy

Cool classes, cool games...

Over at Aravis' site there is a way cool game to play...especially if you like music, design, bands, etc...Fred must play if Fred reads this and then post the results. Very fun and a little weird, which can be fun too. These are the results of my game play, and I have designed the picture like a CD cover...I think 4"x4"...

Anyway, 'William Blake In Popular Culture' is a post-punk Brit-pop quintet who sing about girls, cars, money, fashion, and how they snootily look down on the mainstream. If you imagine The Kinks updated to 2008 you get a good idea.

I met with my writing prof yesterday and this will be fun. Nothing other than that, but suffice to say I am going to exorcise my inner demons and learn to write for myself.

I am helping people by using the gifts I have been given through living a sober life. Just thought I'd toss that in to remind myself who and where I am...

Johnnyboy

More classes and more books...

My new semester officially begins in a few weeks. I have gathered the texts I need, more or less, except for one class which seems to be up in the air. It is the Creative Non-Fiction class, which is a new type of literature class developed in the past couple of decades to (some say) fill a niche. As a subject it has had a rough time of it, with traditionalists like my father pooh-poohing the aims and goals and so forth. Frankly I think there is a bitterness to the argument. Pity they didn't think of it first. In any case, I don't know what the readings are yet. I'll call the instructor on Monday, when the holiday break is finally over.

I have to be careful with this class if I am going to benefit from it. I come from a long history of literary folk, most well known, and a long history of being surrounded by the arts. If I go in thinking that I know too much about anything, I will do poorly and destroy any chance to build an honest relationship with another human being. If, on the other hand, I maintain my humility, and even pretend that I have no idea what's going on, I will probably remain open to the experience and gain a great deal from it.

I am back at the gym with a passion. In the past few months I had neglected my physical health and become soft around the middle, plus gaining a few pounds. My goal is to drop ten pounds and get my blood rates down or up, depending on what's good. I have done this before, but I can be a slacker. Thankfully this is not a New Years Resolution, since I started back before Christmas. By the time I leave for the Balkans in May I should be in great shape. So it's cardio, crunches, and some mild weight training for me 5 days a week.

The enclosed is a picture from a shoot I did at the Hudson Valley Psychiatric Center, a defunct loony bin near here. It is one of three pieces I am showing next week in New York at a group exhibit.

Johnnyboy

A new year has begun...

There is a lot of promise for the upcoming year. Here are some of my hopefuls...

1. That I will keep on this most excellent spiritual path.
2. That in November 2008, the United States will come to its
senses and start thinking and responding instead of dumbing
down and reacting.
3. That those politicians who have been responsible for the
worst of the damage will be held accountable in a court of law.
4. That I will lose even more fear about the future.
5. More and better health for everyone!
6. Travel, travel, travel...
7. That my family will finally acknowledge the personal sacrifices
I have made for them in the past 2-3 years.
8. That I won't give a rat's ass what they think.
9. I will be gifted in seeing something really amazing.
10. If I am grateful, then my life will change for the better.

So far so good. That's enough for now, but thanks to my mysterious and secretive readership. You have all helped me through many situations and have celebrated with me as well. It takes two to tango...

Johnnyboy